The complete technical reference for a product that doesn't exist
The PixieCon16™ represents the pinnacle of fictional pixel controller technology, combining the legendary reliability of the PixCon with the magical essence of the Pixie line. Born from a fever dream in the Light-O-Rama forums, the PixieCon16 exists in the space between "what if" and "please make this."
| Specification | Value | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Model Number | PC16-ENCHANTED |
XVI in Roman numerals for fanciness |
| Port Count | 16 Enchanted Ports | Each blessed by a unique holiday sprite |
| Pixels Per Port | 2,400 (Standard) / 4,800 (Elf Mode) | Fairy union negotiated limits |
| Total Pixel Capacity | 38,400 / 76,800 | More than you'll ever need |
| Network Protocol | Fairy Dust Protocol™ (FDP) | Wireless, enchanted air transmission |
| Power Source | Moonlight / Christmas Spirit | 0W grid consumption |
| Operating Temperature | -∞°F to +∞°F | Also works in space |
| Dimensions | Exactly the right size | Adapts to available space |
| Weight | Weightless when enchanted | Levitates during operation |
| Warranty | Eternal | Void if you stop believing |
The PixieCon16 must be activated by speaking its true name three times under a full moon. Standard activation phrase: "Pixie-Pixie-PixieCon, let my Christmas lights turn on."
The PixieCon16 features 16 individually enchanted ports, each blessed by a different holiday sprite during the manufacturing process (which takes place in a dimension where time flows differently).
| Port | Guardian Sprite | Special Ability | Recommended Use |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 🎅 Santa Sprite | Knows if pixels are naughty or nice | Main display, roof lines |
| 2 | 🤶 Mrs. Claus Sprite | Automatic cookie-break scheduling | Secondary displays |
| 3 | 🦌 Reindeer Sprite | Enhanced red-nose compatibility | Animated deer, moving elements |
| 4 | ⛄ Snowman Sprite | Frost-proof signal transmission | Yard decorations |
| 5 | 🎄 Tree Sprite | Optimized for vertical arrangements | Mega trees, spiral trees |
| 6 | 🔔 Bell Sprite | Perfect audio sync resonance | Musical elements |
| 7 | ⭐ Star Sprite | Maximum brightness blessing | Tree toppers, focal points |
| 8 | 🎁 Gift Sprite | Surprise effect generation | Interactive displays |
| 9 | ❄️ Snowflake Sprite | Infinite unique patterns | Snowfall effects |
| 10 | 🕯️ Candle Sprite | Realistic flicker algorithms | Window candles, warm elements |
| 11 | 🧣 Cozy Sprite | Generates warmth in cold pixels | Accent lighting |
| 12 | 🎿 Winter Sport Sprite | High-speed data transmission | Fast-moving effects |
| 13 | 👻 Cursed Sprite | Unpredictable but entertaining | Halloween crossover, chaos |
| 14 | 🧝 Elf Sprite | Unlocks Elf Mode (4,800 pixels) | High-density installations |
| 15 | 🎶 Carol Sprite | Embedded music synchronization | Singing faces, music sync |
| 16 | ✨ Magic Sprite | Amplifies all other ports | Grand finale, master effects |
Port 13 is blessed by the Cursed Sprite. While fully functional, pixels connected to Port 13 may occasionally display Halloween colors during December, refuse to turn off until you say "please," or briefly achieve sentience. This is considered a feature, not a bug. The Cursed Sprite has seniority and cannot be reassigned.
/* PixieCon16 Port Pinout (4-Pin Enchanted Connector) */ Pin 1: MAGIC_DATA // Fairy-encoded pixel data stream Pin 2: SPIRIT_GND // Ethereal ground reference Pin 3: WISH_POWER // Belief-based power delivery Pin 4: DREAM_CLOCK // Synchronized to REM sleep cycles /* Note: Pins are self-orienting and cannot be inserted incorrectly */ /* The connector will physically refuse wrong orientation */
Reserved for future documentation. These section numbers have been allocated for upcoming port specifications including Advanced Sprite Negotiations (2.4), Port Blessing Ceremonies (2.5), Multi-Dimensional Routing (2.6), and other features pending fairy council approval.
Each port on the PixieCon16 is staffed by a team of miniature workshop elves responsible for data handling, pixel coordination, and morale maintenance. Understanding elf capacity is crucial for optimal display performance.
| Mode | Elves/Port | Total Elves | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Standard Mode | 3 | 48 | Recommended for residential displays |
| Elf Mode™ | 6 | 96 | Requires Union paperwork (Form ELF-1099) |
| Overdrive Mode* | 12 | 192 | Voids warranty, may attract North Pole OSHA |
Overdrive mode requires a signed waiver from the North Pole (Form NP-7734) and is not recommended for displays within 500 feet of a chimney. Extended use may result in spontaneous candy cane generation and unsolicited toy production.
Due to the Cursed Sprite blessing, Port 13 supports a maximum of 2 elves. The third position is permanently reserved for the Ghost of Sequences Past, who provides unsolicited feedback on your timing choices.
Elf counts are measured per shift. Per the Fairy Labor Standards Act of 1847, each elf is entitled to mandatory rest periods:
| Show Duration | Shifts Required | Total Elf Budget |
|---|---|---|
| Evening only (4-6 hours) | 1 shift | 1× base capacity |
| Extended (6-16 hours) | 2 shifts | 2× base capacity |
| 24/7 Operation | 3 shifts | 3× base capacity |
Most commercial installations budget for 3× elf capacity to ensure coverage across all shifts. Failure to provide adequate rest periods may result in:
Business Hours: When the Northern Lights are visible
Form Requests: Leave under your pixel tree during a full moon
Response Time: 3-5 business snowfalls
Emergency Contact: Yell "OVERTIME" three times into any active port
The Fairy Dust Protocol™ is a revolutionary wireless communication standard that transmits data through enchanted air particles. Unlike traditional WiFi or Ethernet, FDP requires no cables, routers, or network configuration—just a sprinkle of fairy dust and genuine belief.
| Parameter | Value | Comparison |
|---|---|---|
| Transmission Medium | Enchanted air particles | vs. boring copper or fiber |
| Bandwidth | ∞ Gbps (Gigabeliefs per second) | Limited only by imagination |
| Latency | Negative (arrives before sent) | Precognitive data transfer |
| Range | Line of belief | ~∞ miles if you believe hard enough |
| Encryption | Pixie-256 (unbreakable) | Would take a dragon 10⁹⁹ years to crack |
| Error Correction | Wish-based retransmission | Errors automatically unwished |
| Interference | Immune (magic) | Skeptics may cause signal degradation |
# FDP Network Configuration File # Location: /etc/fairydust/fdp.conf [network] mode = "enchanted" belief_level = 100 # Percentage (minimum 51% required) fairy_count = "auto" # Number of transmission fairies dust_quality = "premium" # Options: standard, premium, artisanal [security] pixie_encryption = true require_belief = true block_skeptics = true santa_verification = enabled # Checks naughty/nice list [performance] precognition = true # Enable negative latency parallel_wishes = unlimited dream_cache = "64TB" # Stored in cloud (actual clouds)
Signal strength is directly proportional to the operator's belief level. Mutual belief between sender and receiver creates a "belief bridge" that can span any distance. Reported successful connections include: across the street, across town, across the country, and one unverified report from the International Space Station.
The PixieCon16 operates on a dual-source enchanted power system, drawing energy from ambient moonlight and concentrated Christmas spirit. This results in a true 0W draw from your electrical grid.
| Source | Output | Availability | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Moonlight | ∞ Lumens (converted) | Nighttime, best during full moon | Stored in crystal capacitors |
| Christmas Spirit | ∞ Joy-watts (Jw) | Nov 1 - Jan 6 (peak season) | Renewable, increases near children |
| Backup: Starlight | Lower output | Clear nights only | Emergency reserve |
| Emergency: Hope | Minimal but sufficient | Always available | Last resort power source |
| Operating Mode | Grid Power | Moonlight Required | Spirit Required |
|---|---|---|---|
| Idle / Standby | 0W | 0.001 lumens | Background joy |
| Standard Operation | 0W | 1 moonbeam | 1 child's laughter |
| Full Brightness | 0W | 1 full moon equivalent | 1 carol sung |
| Elf Mode (4,800/port) | 0W | 2 moonbeams | 1 act of kindness |
| Grand Finale Mode | 0W | Supermoon recommended | Neighborhood-wide cheer |
The PixieCon16 includes a Crystallized Moonlight Reservoir (CMR) that stores up to 30 nights of moonlight for cloudy weather operation. The Christmas Spirit buffer can store approximately 2 weeks of joy during the off-season, though output may be reduced during particularly cynical periods.
Unlike traditional controllers, the PixieCon16 provides power injection through the Fairy Dust Protocol itself. Each fairy carries a small amount of magical energy that replenishes pixels along the entire string length. Power injection points are not required but fairies appreciate rest stops every 100 pixels for union compliance.
The PixieCon16 supports an unprecedented range of pixel types, from traditional WS2811 through theoretical pixel technologies that haven't been invented yet.
| Mode | Pixels/Port | Total (16 ports) | Unlock Requirements |
|---|---|---|---|
| Standard Mode | 2,400 | 38,400 | None (default) |
| Elf Mode | 4,800 | 76,800 | Port 14 blessing + Elf Union approval |
| Theoretical Maximum | ∞ | ∞ | Pending fairy union renegotiation (2087) |
The 2,400 pixel limit was negotiated in the Great Fairy Labor Agreement of 1847. Fairies argued that anything beyond 2,400 pixels per port constituted "unreasonable magical exertion." The Elf Mode exception was granted after elves volunteered to assist during peak season. Attempts to renegotiate for unlimited pixels are ongoing.
| Protocol | Support Level | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| WS2811 / WS2812 | ✅ Full Support | Automatic voltage detection |
| WS2813 / WS2815 | ✅ Full Support | Backup data line unnecessary but respected |
| SK6812 | ✅ Full Support | RGBW native |
| APA102 / SK9822 | ✅ Full Support | Clock line generated magically |
| TM1814 | ✅ Full Support | 12V RGBW optimized |
| UCS1903 | ✅ Full Support | Because why not |
| Protocols from the future | ✅ Full Support | Pre-emptive compatibility via prophecy |
| Incandescent (legacy) | ✅ Nostalgic Support | Converts to pixel commands out of respect |
/* Refresh Rate Specifications */ Standard Refresh: ∞ Hz // Continuous refresh Perceived Refresh: ∞ Hz // No flicker possible Camera-Safe Mode: ∞ Hz // Perfect for video Time-Crystal Mode: -∞ Hz // Refreshes before needed /* Note: Refresh rate adapts to viewer's perception */ /* Dogs see enhanced refresh. Cats remain unimpressed. */
The PixieCon16 introduces Telepathic Sequencing™, allowing operators to program light shows using only their thoughts. Simply imagine your sequence, and the PixieCon16 will manifest it.
| Thought Pattern | Result | Accuracy |
|---|---|---|
| "I want a chase effect" | Chase effect appears | 99.9% |
| "Make it more... you know" | System interprets vibe correctly | 97.3% |
| "Like that one I saw online" | Finds and replicates sequence | 94.1% |
| Vague sense of "more" | Increases intensity appropriately | 89.7% |
| "Wizards in Winter but better" | Enhanced classic sequence | 100% (it knows) |
| Confused uncertainty | Suggests three options | 100% |
The Telepathic Sequencing system cannot distinguish between intentional sequences and intrusive thoughts. If you accidentally think about a sequence while programming, it may be added to your show. The "Undo Last Thought" feature requires the Premium Crystal Ball Dongle.
The PixieCon16 is encased in Crystallized Snowflake Armor (CSA), providing complete immunity to all environmental conditions.
| Condition | Specification | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Temperature Range | -∞°F to +∞°F | Tested at absolute zero and surface of sun |
| Humidity | 0% to 100% (including underwater) | Functions in rain, snow, swimming pools |
| Altitude | -35,000 ft to +∞ ft | Works in Mariana Trench and orbit |
| Pressure | 0 to ∞ ATM | Vacuum-rated for space installations |
| UV Exposure | Immune | Snowflake armor reflects harmful rays |
| Wind | 0 to ∞ mph | Levitation stabilizes in high winds |
| Lightning | Immune (absorbs as power) | Actually improves performance briefly |
/* IP Rating: IP∞∞ (Infinite Protection) */ Dust: IMMUNE // Dust becomes fairy dust on contact Water: IMMUNE // Can operate fully submerged Ice: IMMUNE // Ice slides off magically Squirrels: IMMUNE // Squirrels report feeling "peaceful" nearby Skepticism: PARTIAL // May reduce range by up to 50% HOA Complaints: DEFLECT // Generates "grandfathered in" documentation
The PixieCon16 has been theoretically tested for extraterrestrial installation. The Fairy Dust Protocol works in vacuum via quantum-entangled fairy pairs. One verified installation exists on the far side of the moon, visible only during certain lunar phases from Earth. (It's that one twinkle you sometimes see.)
The PixieCon16 features Instant Music Sync™, which automatically synchronizes your lights to any audio source—including songs that don't exist yet.
| Audio Source | Sync Quality | Setup Required |
|---|---|---|
| FM Broadcast | Perfect | None (auto-detects) |
| Streaming Services | Perfect | None (knows what you're playing) |
| Live Performance | Perfect | None (anticipates musicians) |
| Humming | Perfect | None (recognizes song from humming) |
| Songs you're thinking about | Perfect | Crystal Ball Dongle |
| Songs not yet written | Perfect | Prophecy Mode enabled |
| Songs from parallel universes | Excellent | Dimensional tuning (advanced) |
The PixieCon16 comes with every Christmas sequence ever created pre-loaded, including:
/* Audio Synchronization Latency */ Standard Mode: 0ms // Zero latency Precognition Mode: -50ms // Lights anticipate audio Deep Prophecy: -∞ms // Sequence ready before song chosen /* The PixieCon16 has never been "late" to a beat */ /* It considers such a concept philosophically impossible */
The PixieCon16 supports colors beyond the visible spectrum, including theoretical colors that exist only in mathematical models and the dreams of physicists.
| Color Space | Support | Range |
|---|---|---|
| RGB | ✅ Full | 0-255 per channel (pedestrian) |
| RGBW | ✅ Full | True white channel support |
| CMYK | ✅ Full | For that print-accurate look |
| HSL/HSV | ✅ Full | 360° hue, 100% sat/light |
| LAB | ✅ Full | Perceptually uniform |
| Pantone | ✅ Full | All colors including proprietary |
| Imaginary Colors | ✅ Full | Colors outside human perception |
| Impossible Colors | ✅ Full | Reddish-green, Bluish-yellow |
/* Color Bit Depth Support */ Standard: 8-bit // 16.7 million colors (basic) Enhanced: 16-bit // 281 trillion colors Professional: 32-bit // More colors than atoms in universe PixieCon Mode: ∞-bit // Continuous color space /* At ∞-bit depth, there is no "nearest color" */ /* Every conceivable color is exactly representable */
While the PixieCon16 is designed to be trouble-free, some edge cases may occur. Below are common issues and their magical solutions.
| Symptom | Likely Cause | Solution |
|---|---|---|
| Unit won't power on | Insufficient belief | Increase belief level to ≥51%. Try saying "I believe" three times. |
| Reduced range | Nearby skeptic | Relocate skeptic or convert them via impressive light show |
| Port 13 acting strange | Normal operation | The Cursed Sprite is just expressing itself. Embrace chaos. |
| Unit levitating too high | Excess Christmas spirit | Think mundane thoughts temporarily. Consider tax returns. |
| Glitter everywhere | Feature, not bug | Accept glitter as part of your life now. It's permanent. |
| Unit only plays "All I Want for Christmas Is You" | Mariah Carey Override (seasonal) | Cannot be disabled Nov 1 - Dec 25. By design. |
| Neighbors complaining | Jealousy | Invite them over. Convert them. Expand the display. |
| Telepathic sequencing shows embarrassing thoughts | Insufficient mental shielding | Practice meditation. Or embrace vulnerability. |
/* PixieCon16 Error Code Reference */ E001: "BELIEF_INSUFFICIENT" // Believe harder E002: "FAIRY_UNION_BREAK" // Wait 15 minutes E003: "MOONLIGHT_DEPLETED" // Wait for nightfall E004: "SPIRIT_LEVEL_LOW" // Watch a Christmas movie E005: "SKEPTIC_DETECTED" // Remove skeptic from area E006: "CURSE_OVERFLOW" // Port 13 needs venting E007: "PROPHECY_PARADOX" // Don't think about it E008: "GLITTER_SATURATION" // Area is maximum sparkly E404: "PRODUCT_NOT_FOUND" // Correct. It doesn't exist.
PixieCon16 support can be reached by whispering your issue to a candle flame on the winter solstice. Response times vary based on the complexity of your issue and current fairy workload. For urgent matters, try leaving cookies and milk near your controller with a handwritten note. For real support with real products, visit lightorama.com.